Friday, December 18, 2009


In all likelihood, this looks like to be the last post of the year. But, this is not a summary of the year gone by nor do I intend to put up a year-end post. In fact, even if I try, which I did for a while, I don't seem to find any high (or low) points that could distinguish this year from other years. Of course, when I speak of an uneventful year, I refer purely to a personal state of being; apparently, earth-shattering events are occurring every other day in other peoples' lives, which I'm completely oblivious of. Once in a while, it does scare me though -- that I cannot feel any rise and fall in life, which everyone keeps talking of; that I am not getting too worked up by the seemingly endless amount of time I'm letting go, doing nothing; that, despite everything, I still feel as clueless or confused as ever. In short, horrifyingly enough, the start or end of a year seem to have lost whatever residual feelings of hope or despair they used to carry; and instead, giving way to a cold indifference.

Anyway, the year's going to end in a few more days. As with every year, I saw people moving in and out, rearranging their lives -- some committing to new things, some rising to new heights, some falling by the wayside, and some vanishing altogether. Oh, wait! Now that I started typing in, I do seem to feel certain moments linger in my head, some memories that I didn't care to look back, some days that indeed were different. Still, what difference those moments and memories are going to make, I am still uncertain of. As for now, I'm waiting with my packed bags, ready to start my much-awaited year-end vacation, a time when I reach a Zen-like state of mind and speculate on the greater scheme of things.

See you all, hopefully more regularly, in the coming new year.

P.S. New year wishes, everyone!