I don’t know if you may have noticed earlier, but there were many times when I came very close to give up writing this blog for various reasons – caught up with work, nothing to write about, worried about money and career, depressed with life, unhappy with the shoddy attempts at writing, etc. But so far, somehow, I have remained unsuccessful to bring it to a complete end. I invariably came back every time after a brief hiatus.
I was going through one such phase again. And, well, this time it came pretty close to an end. Or, so I thought. I was almost convinced that this blog was going nowhere – it can just as well be done away with and left alone to die a quiet death.
The last few days, I must admit, I swung like a pendulum, thinking over it. I had no obvious answers either way. And I almost lost my sleep trying to decide. However, I later realized, from the little I know about the workings of my mind, that given a lifetime, I would still be indecisive about it.
I know it seems funny that I could have been agitated over such a petty thing. After all, why could it even matter in any real sense? Seriously, I still cannot understand why I should’ve lost my sleep for something like this. But, well, I guess I don’t understand many things about me anyway.
Okay, so if you are reading this, you can see that I did finally make the decision. But, it was an impulsive decision, like always, and I can’t say what good will come out of it. Moreover, it really could have gone either way, just like the toss of a coin. The reason that it didn’t go the other way, is purely accidental, and therefore beyond any explanation.
I can see that this has turned out to be a strange post, very unusual for a first post of the new year. Don’t know what this portends.
Anyway, for now, I am back.